Homeless

Once upon a time there was a little girl.

She wandered from person to person and from place to place trying to find a place to call home.

Young and unknowing, she became who she thought others wanted.

To fit in.

To feel loved.  

To feel safe.

But it didn’t really work.

Nothing she did was enough.

No one really cared enough to see her or to listen.

Essentially, she was homeless.

Desperate to find a place to belong, she figured out the parts of herself that others rejected.

She worked hard to dig a hole and to bury those parts and get as far away from them as possible.

Years went buy and the little girl grew into one hell of an angry bitch from rejecting so much of herself.

She trusted no one, wouldn’t let anyone in and believed everyone was out to get her.

Yet she also repressed this anger, pushing it away because this too, was too much for others.

She tried to open up, but was told she was too sensitive.

Too intense.

Too much for other people.

The angry-self then turned on her, and she began punishing herself instead.

The self hate.

The self harm.

The thoughts that circled her head were not good ones.

The sadness became too much to handle.

But that damn angry bitch was still there.

She learned to work with her to put boundaries into place.

The angry bitch helped her learn to express her feelings no matter what.

The angry bitch loved the little girl so much that she was fighting to protect her.

But the little girl is grown now.

She looked back upon her life and all the things she endured.

She saw the value in the presence of the angry bitch, and she no longer shunned her, but instead, found her wisdom and strength as invaluable.  She realized the angry bitch saved her life.

However, the angry bitch needed to go to school to learn how to “be” in the world so as not to hurt others as she had been hurt. She had to go to the school of Personal Responsibility... learning to take ownership of herself and her screw ups, which was not an easy thing.  

Anger is not a bad emotion. It is a protective emotion. One that protects a very vulnerable part within.

We become angry people when we disown parts of ourselves. That anger is either projected outward (lashing out) or projected inward (self-harm, addiction, repression and avoidance).

Anger is not the problem. Not knowing how to be vulnerable is.

Not knowing who we are authentically is.

Not being aware of our own bullshit is.

We become broken and we perpetuate the same crap into the world that was done unto us. We make others the casualty of our own pain, thus, we end up in a never ending cycle of pain generation after generation.

Anything you repress makes your inner self homeless… it has nowhere it belongs.

Anger is often the result when we repress these vulnerable parts.

What these parts need is love and acceptance instead of shame and judgement.

These fragments are nothing more than an unmet need!

The homeless self was conditioned to believe that he/she isn’t worthy or loveable.

That it’s too sensitive, too intense or too much for other people.

Oftentimes this creature is inherited from the wounds of our parents... created as a casualty of their own lack of healing and introspection. And then we become the parents…

I see far too many people in the world focusing on way too much outside of themselves.

These people got it wrong.

You want to change the world, it has to start within.

To become aware and to change the way we engage with the world.

Reality is merely a reflection of your own inner world… did you know that?

We cannot do a damn thing to change the future if we do not change the way we engage with ourselves. It does the world no good to be the best person “out in the world”, but then you come home and you abuse yourself, your spouse or your kids.

The world reads vibration, and you cannot lie or fake your way through it.

You cannot ever really give without attachment if you do not love yourself.

Otherwise, is it giving to receive love from the world.

Do you want to know what your purpose is on this planet?

Re-read this message.

That is why you were born human.

Your homework is to notice what is triggered.

Take note of it, seek to understand it and love it, instead of shun it.

Can you do that?

With Love,

Becky Costello, Psychic Medium

Dancing Elk Shamanic Healing