Family, Friends and Relatives

 If you aren’t feeling it yet, what I can tell you, is this month is power packed.

Think emotional intensity. It's not unfamiliar this time of the year.

This is also a “master month” if you will, so there are ample opportunities for healing emotionally and being done with certain patterns once and for all. One of the main factors where we can implement change? Family.

Mars just began its retrograde in Leo yesterday… this will cause most of us to internalize our anger and frustration, however, it can also create some passive aggressive interactions. Leave it to the “holiday season” to add to that! The lesson here is to find a healthy way to deal with anger, and most importantly, put boundaries into place and communicate authentically... and trying to do that with certain people can prove difficult.

This time of the year is often difficult for many anyway.

The word “family” doesn’t always make peoples’ hearts all giddy with excitement.

And this time of the year can feel like a punch in the gut.

For some, the ones they love are no longer with us, and that loss is incredibly hard.

For others, this time of the year highlights the disfunction, chaos and trauma of the past involving the people they were born into being with.

So, this month, being we may expect some fireworks (or not so fun feelings), the lesson this month is to master them.

Shall we start with our definitions of family?

Family in the traditional sense really doesn’t mean crap to me.

Family, to me, has nothing to do with blood. I call those people relatives.

Family are the people you can be vulnerable with.

Family are the people you can have difficult conversations with and feel heard.

Family are the people who respect boundaries when they are put in place.

Family are the people who are loving each other without judgment.

Family are the ones meeting each other where they are, not where they want them to be.

Family is forged out of showing up for each other when life really sucks ass.

Stop for a moment and reflect on who your FAMILY is.

My family are those people who I also call friends. My blood family can be counted on one finger. The rest are relatives.

However, we must also acknowledge our feelings and do something constructive with them.

Remember, this month carries an energy of mastery. Feel the anger, but create out of love instead.

Be authentic.

Communicate boundaries (re-enforce them with a 2x4 if needed).

Maybe you are wondering where this is coming from, and where it is going. I am seeing this pattern of distress repeat in many of my clients right now. And I am no different. This time of the year shouldn't be filled with stupid obligations and shitty feelings. So, I decided to shift perspective instead.

Thanksgiving sucked ass for me. Since my son left for the military, it hasn’t been the same. I find myself sad every year. Since this time, I have also put boundaries in place with certain relatives that blew shit up pretty significantly. It leaves me feeling like I don’t belong anywhere, unloved and unwanted. Like I never mattered to any of them. Out of sight, out of mind. That little girl inside me still wanting to be excepted and loved as she is. But adult me has another plan.

So effective immediately, I am done with that shit!

This year, instead of sulking, I am taking inventory of what family I really do have. I am pretty damned blessed because of the friends I have in my life. Now those people are what FAMILY is all about.   

What I miss is gathering with others this time of the year. I miss cooking a special meal for others (ironic cuz I hate cooking every other day!).

Many others are missing this feeling of togetherness too.

Why not take a day and create your own Holiday gathering. That’s what I decided to do with a true family member.

Be with people who make you feel loved and important.

Cook for each other and share a meal and some funnies.

Seek to be with those who make you feel loved and honored for who you are and where you are in your life.

Remind yourself of who family really is.

Sincerely,

Becky Costello, Psychic Medium

Dancing Elk Shamanic Healing